Ahhh, 36. I made it to 36.
Jesus, I still remember thinking I’m not going to be alive past 30, but here I am. 20 years later after thinking that, I’m here, I’m alive, I’m healthy, breathing, and I’m going to remember my birthday this year.
For once in my life I’m going to pat myself on the back. 😊 I’m clear, I’m as sane as I am ever going to be, and most of all I’m beyond grateful and humble.
I spent my birthday in my office and by myself for the most part. Penny was around! 🐶 There was no crazy party, no drinks. Just me, myself, and I and that was ok.
Had a feast with friends tonight, a couple of wines and in my pajamas by 11pm. To me, this is the best birthday yet. I realized almost every single family member said happy birthday to me. I realized how ever much my beautiful little sister and I are different, we are still a lot the same and I’m so grateful to have her. I all around am just thankful.
I had a mild breakdown over the weekend. Screamed at my dog and I said some not so nice things. Example: My friends baby shower. I really wanted to go before work, but my guilt of knowing I was too stressed and over worked and didn’t want to speak to a soul made me respond to her being sad I couldn’t go before work with “WELL, don’t go to my baby shower if I ever have a kid.”
Yes, I’m an impulsive douche sometimes. In the end I gave her her present after work and she knows I’m a wacko and everything is good.
I have cultivated such amazing people in my life who understand me. They know my heart, loyalty, and intentions will always be pure even if on the outside I act like a complete as*hole. Overall I’m just thankful for where I am. It may not be anything that glamorous or special but it’s more than enough. 🦄 Happy birthday to me.