I talk a lot about being single. Like I am some expert on it. In all reality maybe I should talk more about the 14-15 years of my life I never was single. I was that girl who had another boyfriend lined up before I was even done with the current one. Sometimes I think back and want to punch myself in the face multiple times.
I always think “Holy sh*t, I’ve been single forever.” Technically it’s been like 3 years since I’ve been in a “real” relationship. 7 years total in my life I’ve been single since my first boyfriend. So yeah my knowledge of being in a relationship doubles being single.
I can tell you what I remember most about being in a relationship. It was a hell of a lot more tiring then being single. Most of this is my own fault. I was always settling. I knew I wanted to be with someone equally independent with more goals, more motivation, and more drive. Although I knew this, I always stayed longer in the relationship than I should have. I always had that “maybe he will change” bullsh*t notion. That is the dumbest sh*t you can ever think. You cannot make people have your ambitions and goals.
I think that 14 years of being in relationships combined with the 7 years of being single has taught me many life lessons. You cannot change people. You shouldn’t chase anyone!!! F*ck that sh*t. I know that little game is fun and slightly addicting because it is also “safe” but when you know what you want, you will not play it anymore. You will not let yourself. When you learn enough lessons about yourself and human behavior you will not tolerate sh*t that is beneath you. I have had many trials and tribulations. Lots that I am not proud of. I still f*ck up every now and again. Just a hell of a lot less.
I use to hate my reality. I have never been an addict of drugs or alcohol. I was an addict of escaping reality.
I currently like reality. It’s a very limbo stage of my life. Some may call it boring. I like to save my excitement for flights to France and Switzerland. Rhode Island excitement can gladly continue without my presence. I am not sure how long I’ll stay in this limbo as I contemplate my next move. All I know is it is the clearest I have ever been able to think. I am also the healthiest I have ever been physically. I can finally see a path, I can actually see multiple paths. I am going to take my time, stay in the right direction and let the universe push me towards my best path. As for being single and writing blogs about it, I currently don’t give 2 f*cks about being single or dating. I will try to keep track of the weird sh*t that gets said to me and happens to me on a daily basis though. That might be worth a single life rant. 😉✌
Thank you to everyone who has messaged me, commented, laughed, cried, or liked it since I started this blog. I try to keep it as authentic and real as possible because life is not always rainbows and butterflies. 🦋🌈 It’s full of a lot 💩 in between.
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