So long Bumble and Tinder. It’s been fun. Actually not really. Going on those sites was entertainment for a minute. After that minute it became redundant. I’m just not into online dating. I tried to meet a couple out. I’ll give one example of how some of these horror shows play out. Sometimes I am the horror show.
So apparently Instagram is the later on way to hit me up on DM. So this one dude seems like a decent prospect. He’s a teacher and looks like he works out. I have a rule and it’s going to make me sound like I’m into that movie 50 Shades of Grey. For the record I have never watched those movies. If I don’t think you look like you could pick me up and slam me against a wall if needed, we are not going to work. This doesn’t mean I want you to choke me or any of this super weird sh*t people get into.
So anyway back to this frigging dude. I don’t mind getting out of RI. So he says meet him at this new place in New Bedford where he is meeting a couple of his friends. I know nothing about New Bedford. I need a buddy real quick. Thank God I did not go up there by myself.
So we get there. #1 everyone in the place looks 10. This dude seems hammered. He is not 10, he’s thirty something. Now I’m not judging, I’ve been the drunk ass many times in my life, but I just knew within seconds all set. Now mind you, I just drove 45 minutes out of the way. You don’t even offer to buy me a drink? I don’t care about the $6 f*cking dollars bro but if this is as polite as you are ever going to get, I’m all set.
So I order drinks at a separate bar in the basement where it’s quiet and about 3 people are there other than my friend and I. He comes over and is like “Come upstairs and find me after.” Me: “Ok.” He walks upstairs. I turn to my friend “F*ck this place, let’s leave.” I turn to the bartender “You have a back door I can get out of down here?” He points to this random door in the back and says “Yeah, it goes out to the back alley and you have to go up some stairs.” Me: “Cool, I’m about to use it.”
My friend now is laughing and we are ducking out some random door, at some random bar, leaving some random dude. Ten minutes later “Did you leave?” Yes, I left. I’m not good at faking sh*t and the intelligence level and manners you were exuding was just too much for me to handle. I didn’t say that. I’m not that mean. Another fail. Shit is getting exhausting and I keep believing in miracles. As Jay-Z says “It’s on to the next one.”🙅😎😝
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